Karate Kids
My wife signed the boys up for Karate. My first thought when she told me this, was, “why the hell would you sign too little maniacs up for something like that?” All I could think of was their sparring matches. I could see the stitches. I could hear the bones breaking. I could see the blood, and I could see the trips to the emergency room. My kids already do their share of fighting with each other, and now we are going to have them taught on the proper techniques. This just seemed crazy to me.
After I let the information settle in, I started to look on the bright side. I will never have to wax my car again. The boys will do that, they teach it in Karate. I will never have to paint anything again either. The kids will be taught how to paint the fence in Karate. If they know how to paint a fence, they will certainly know how to paint a house. I will not have to pay someone to re-do my kitchen floor. Nope, the kids will do it. They teach kids how to sand the floor in Karate too. I will save money on bug spray too. The kids will be able to catch flies with chopsticks; so, I will have them stand next to me when the mosquitos are bad. So, Karate could end up being a positive. My kids will learn how to do household chores, and I will have more time for golf. That’s not so bad.
After I let the information settle in, I started to look on the bright side. I will never have to wax my car again. The boys will do that, they teach it in Karate. I will never have to paint anything again either. The kids will be taught how to paint the fence in Karate. If they know how to paint a fence, they will certainly know how to paint a house. I will not have to pay someone to re-do my kitchen floor. Nope, the kids will do it. They teach kids how to sand the floor in Karate too. I will save money on bug spray too. The kids will be able to catch flies with chopsticks; so, I will have them stand next to me when the mosquitos are bad. So, Karate could end up being a positive. My kids will learn how to do household chores, and I will have more time for golf. That’s not so bad.
posted by lawnwhisperer at 7:46 AM
8 Comments:
Hehe, you will never play golf again as your back will be in constant pain after enduring multiple back flips. "Daddy let me show you what I learned today!"
another positive is that they will, hopefully, expend all their energy in karate class, then come home and fall asleep for the rest of the day/night.
Will they teach moves such as "Kill the Vole" or "Decapitate the Rabbit"?
Based on some of your other posts, can we assume you will be the one teaching them how to "wax off"?????
I think it's "Decapitate the Vole" and "Kill the Wabbit".
Just to clarify.
Will the boys also be saying, "Yes Master, Of course Master, Whatever pleases you Master"? You are surely pipedreaming, L.W.! There's a lot of time between the yellow and the black belts... and a lot of money spent as well! Karate is only one of the many interests they will have. You will be doing all the chores yourself, as Mrs. L. W. will be chauffering the boys to their various activities. Good Luck, to the little "Grasshoppers". They'll be doing their moves on that beautiful lawn.
It's nice to have dreams.
BWAAAHAHAHAHHAAA!
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